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Superiorgenious
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read my profile
sign my guestbook
Name: Joy
Birthday: 12/25/1983
Gender: Female
Interests: .Jesus.late night walks.city lights.countryroads.music.poetry.sleep.
.champagne.staying up late.coffee and tea.causing a ruckus.sleeping.sowing.
.lighting as many candles as possible.traveling.thrifting.smiling.
.being free.loving.living.
.breathing.seeing.listening.learning.
.touching.
healing.creating.smiling.
Expertise: hangin out- fo real.
Occupation: stylist/make-up artist.
Industry: Fashion.
Message: message me
AIM:  herestoyouandi
AIM: herestoyouandi
AIM: herestoyouandi
Member Since:
10/1/2003
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I dont think anyone reads these anymore.
but....................... i dont care.
I know what i want. .im not getting it.
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its when nothing stands in your way. Not even time, distance, failure, rejection, or pain can stop.
its when your heart feels so strongly that you are willing to do anything to attain what you want, or even wait for what you want.
its when you see that one goal...and its there calling you out.
im beginning to find out more and more about how it truly feels.
rejection makes you stronger.
get to know loneliness. it can be good for you. if you let it, it will help clear your mind.
it will allow you to think about what you want and deserve.. and not what you can attain at the moment.
and when the right thing comes along you'll know. and itll be yours.
you can pray, but you have to do your part.
trials and strength- you cant have one without the other.
this is what i am telling myself....this is what im learning.
OXOXO
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| So. I think I’ve compromised so many things in my life.
Today I heard one of my favorite songs in a long time.
And I’m not the same girl I was the last time I heard it.
It’s almost like that song and what it says has stayed the same.
And I’m completely different, after all this time.
I still love the song. But it’s going against how I’ve lived for so long.
Its like it’s showing me how I USED to be.
I have so many issues with love and relationships.
But I’m beginning to realize that it’s just me and my choices.
So I think that this is a good time to concentrate on my heart and mind.
What is it that I’m doing wrong or thinking wrong that directly affects my choices in a bad way. If I really truly valued myself would I keep hurting myself????? Seriously.
So much crap has been happening to me lately to test me and make me see these things.
I feel like I’m never gonna be where I need to be or even be with who I’m supposed to be with because of all this. I can’t be going against what I want when I want something else.
I can’t tell you how frustrated I’ve been the past few weeks.
Have you ever seen something good and wanted it so badly but you feel like you don’t deserve it? Or maybe not so much that you don’t deserve it but that you’ll never get it??
I see people who are in great relationships and I’ve met some of my friends’ husbands and they are great, great guys. But its almost like I feel like ill never get to that point. A few weeks ago I actually said that love didn’t exist that it’s just something in your head. I don’t know if I believe that but I don’t know if I do. That’s how much shit I’ve been through.
I just hope I can have the ability to get something good and real in every aspect of my life. Rather than telling myself lies that nothings ever good enough…or even worse that I’m not good enough.
I reject good things all the time,
Its really crazy you know.
I need help.
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| so. its like what june 2nd and im chillin in portland maine- which is where i live now and its freaking amazing.
i sweeeaar i never want to leave. my condo is right next to the south portland marina and i live near a huge drawbrige and its amazing.
some nights i can hear the bridge going up and the lil tugboats honking their gay sounding horns.
its absolutely fab.
i am leaving for north dekota the 5th and ill be back the 9th. my brothers retiring from the airforce and its a huge deal so our whole family will be there.
my job is sooo amazing. im learning so much i cant even tell you. but if u want to look at the website its called AKARI. the best thing about working at a salon is that u can get stuff done for free. on monday before my trip im getting a massage, a body wrap anddd my hair color done. weeee!
i miss lacey. its nothing new.
annnnnnd thats about it.
XOX
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my name is winter and i suck.
<3 winter | | |
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